Asking For A Friend by Helen Jacobs

Author:Helen Jacobs
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Allen & Unwin
Published: 2021-03-24T00:00:00+00:00

Please take all the time you need to grieve the end of your world, as you knew it. Grieve the loss of your solid foundation. Rage. Feel it all. We don’t always want to feel these feelings, but they need to be felt as they make their way out. Once cleared, you’ll be best placed to rebuild.

From what you’ve described, you were already doing much of this on your own. As the primary carer for your children, you’ve long carried much of this load, perhaps already behaving akin to a single parent, anyway. On the parenting front, you are capable and ready for this – although I don’t believe you will need to do it all on your own. Call in support. Many people want to help – other school mothers, your family and new supports you haven’t even met yet. They’re coming; call them in.

Although you’ve relied on Fillipe as the main breadwinner, you are also hugely capable of fending for yourself. Uncertainty and sudden circumstantial change quite naturally shake you. This significant shift in your financial position is indeed prompting you to consider a life you had never entertained before. You may not need someone, or something, else to take care of you – but I can see you will soon begin demanding more for yourself, your life and your kids. You are wildly capable; this situation will teach you this.

Chris shows me that from early childhood you believed yourself incapable, that others were better placed to take care of you and that it was ultimately safer to believe others were responsible for your security, whether physical, mental, emotional or financial. This has caused all kinds of energetic entanglement, which is now unravelling. You will never give your power away again.

Support your base chakra during this period. This is the energy centre at the base of the spine, processing energy associated with your thoughts, beliefs, experiences and actions around safety and security – and this is greatly affected for you right now. Try chakra-balancing meditation, reiki, yoga or using crystals like red jasper, which aligns with the base chakra. Moreover, work on your beliefs and mindset around your safety and security.

This ending may happen in stages as it occurs across your Four Bodies:

• Physically, you’ve parted ways with your ex, but there is still a separation of the remainder of your physical life together – the house, the money, even custody of the children. This process will take time, but, as you say yourself, you have a great legal team on board to support you with this. Please find the fight to honour your needs. Fillipe is betting you won’t.

• Mentally, you’ll need to process all that’s happened (and you can seek professional support for help with this). You’ll rework your beliefs, understanding that how you saw yourself and the world led you into that marriage to begin with, so you could learn what is needed – and rewire that belief system, so you can draw new relationships to you in the future more aligned with your truth and power.

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